Lessons on comparison

(Photo by Johannes Plenio)

By Missy Enaje

It seems these days that it is becoming increasingly easier to find opportunities for comparison. Open up any social media app and you'll find yourself possibly inundated by photos, videos, reels of pockets of perfection. 

The description I have read before is it's a collection of our highlight reels—moments that tend to capture mainly the best part of things, filtered through edits and time stamps that allude to feelings of FOMO, where you're missing out on life by comparison. 

I would be amiss to say that this generalization of social media doesn't encapsulate it as a whole, for there are many moments in life we need connection and community. Most times, that outlet of communication tends to be a social media platform where messages populate instantly onto the internet. We praise each other's life moments: joyous occasions, laughter, ideas, somber moments and everything in between. 

Just like anything else we consume, whether physically through diet or food choices, or mentally through what we read and explore on in the internet, we ought to protect our minds and hearts for the rollercoaster of content. 

The best advice I have been given lately by my women's mental health specialist was to "only compare ourselves to ourselves." Wow. How often do I compare my process of grieving to others in similar situations. Social media can be absolutely triggering without warning or boundaries. There's no surgeon general warning when we open these apps. Come what may (depending on these behemoth platform algorithms).

"Only compare ourselves to ourselves." 

That gives me, and anyone else who might practice this, the ability for grace and understanding to take first precedence. They say comparison is the thief of joy and I understand that completely. Thoughts that we aren't good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, worthy enough—to that I say, "Enough!"

We sometimes, well, if we're being honest, most time are our own worst critic. Negative thoughts naturally come to our minds based on how we are programmed as a form of self-protection, experts say. So why feed that negative machine with more fuel? I know, easier said than done, Missy. I know, and that's why I'm writing about it, because this message is also for me.

When I can look back at myself, I can see progression or I can be told about how much I have overcome. It's a healthy evaluation tool for growth, in my opinion. Sometimes it's those little things that help me get through the day. 

Take it easy. Be well.